Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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