my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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