My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
