Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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