wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
