im gay
i know
yea but for you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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