I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
