I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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