woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So squirting runs in the family.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
