I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
