if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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