my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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