She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
