whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
