It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
