just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
