I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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