shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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