We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
