Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
