Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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