Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
