I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think my mom watched the whole time
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
