It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
