We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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