you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My vagina is officially offended.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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