so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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