Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
