You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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