it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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