you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
