***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Terrible idea I love it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
