Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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