What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
