Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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