ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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