We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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