i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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