I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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