Three words: puerto rican gang bang
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
