If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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