i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I am one with the molecules
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
