Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have feelings that need drinking.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
