He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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