My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
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he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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