We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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