I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize