I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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