do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
