Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
