Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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