I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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