Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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