Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We have started to decorate penises.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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