You're so nebulous sometimes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
