there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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